There are historical events which, when people ask where you were, you instantly remember: the day Titanic came out, the first time you heard The Macarena, the day they aired the last episode of Sienfeld. You know, the important stuff.
Well you'll have to add another moment to the top of that list: a first-ever radio event. A political precedent that's setting the groundwork for generations to come. And all that with The Eye of the Tiger as the soundtrack.
What was this event, you ask? Oh, you weren't there? What?! Ok, here's the low-down.
For about a week the Jefferson County Greenband (and the Happy Hour with Steve McLane) guys have been running a really weird promo on your favorite radio station in the world. No, not KMCD, KRUU, dammit! Anyway, the promo claimed that Mayor Ed Malloy venerable leader of the community of Fairfield, would hand wrassle Mayor Dave Lyon venerable leader of the community of Birmingham. And most people who heard this promo said "yeah, right - ha ha, nice joke". But some of us kept listening all the way to where we could clearly hear The Eye of the Tiger. Which basically means that we were psyched baby, psy-ched!!!
So there it was, all week, anticipation building up. Wondering just how big Mayor Lyon is. Not sure if Lyon was spelled Lion. Worried that Mayor Malloy wasn't eating enough spinach (coz of the arm thing, you know, with Popeye?). Basically no sleep for days.
And here it was - 7.30pm. Friday, January 19th. 2007. The moment of reckoning.
So, in one corner, we had Mayor Lyon - the lion of Birmingham - dressed in the casual attire of a man with the confidence of knowing that he had the goods to make this competition his.
In the other, Mayor Malloy - the alloy of Fairfield - in black t-shirt, cool shades and a Fairfield tattoo on his right forearm.
There's a well guarded secret to the hand-wrestle: much of it comes from your get-up. The ancient Mayan kings used to recommend that you first watch a few hours of "Over The Top", get a tattoo of an important town, wear a white wifebeater and some cool shades. In the absence of a white wife-beater, a black t-shirt will do.
But sometimes there's more to winning this sport of mental agility, emotional blackmail, and a bit of muscle than just a black t-shirt. Yeah, yeah, some of you are going to point out that Sly Stallone won all his arm-wrestling in Over the Top because of his t-shirt. Just quiet down and wait for what happened, ok?!
So, mission control is overflowing with spectators - people have driven in from all over town. The crowds are ready to put wagers down on both Mayors. Malloy has a bit of a home-town advantage, but it's hard to tell just who's getting more support with this crowd. The tension is palpable. The film-crew is sweating buckets. The wrasslers are cool as cucumbers.
This is where radio really shines.
Once Kevin Reilly, umpire for this one-round inter-Mayoral hand-wrestling competition, yelled "Wrestle!", it was all anyone's guess what happened. Here's what we think happened: For the first 0.8 seconds Mayor Lyon's upper arm strength kicked in - a bit pre-maturely, it turned out. At about the 2.3 second mark Mayor Malloy channeled the depths of Stallone's wrestling spirit, and the forearms began to get into the action. At about the 4.7 second mark, Mayor Lyon's last reserves of strength started giving out. By now both contestants were sweating buckets, grunting madly, and the Eye of the Tiger was getting the crowd into a slow-motion frenzy.
And then, suddenly, somewhere between 5.9 seconds and 6.4 seconds the arm that was Mayor Lyon's found itself on the table, with the arm of the Mayor of Fairfield's on top of it. It was a stunning upset!
So there it is, Mayor Malloy, alloy of Fairfield anodizes Mayor Lyon, the lion of Birmingham.
In a post-competition interview exclusive with KRUU, Mayor Lyon claimed that his long day of hard work had ebbed his usually incredible reserves of energy and strength. To which Mayor Malloy remarked - you've been using a nail-gun instead of a hammer, haven't you?!
It was an event worthy of YouTube and GoogleVideo. And soon that's where you'll be able to relive every nail-biting second of this momentous occassion.