"Do you believe it's almost now?" said Tomorrow to Last Night. "Very funny," said Maybe, winking lasciviously at No Way. "Let's get this party started," said Incendiary to Lost Cause. "Easy for you to say," said Ziploc to Window Pane, cracking a smile. "Do you believe in magic?" said Self Loathing to Self Help. "So help me God," said the Son to the Father. 

In other words, it's time for PLANET ERSTWILD. Sit back and leave the driving to us. WARNING: Objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer then they actually are.

Shoehorns: Dain Daller, Iowa Source, Marco Benevento, Mike Dillon, Jim Noir, Flipron, Jim Kerwin, Tracy Vance, Scott Timm, Anna Bruen (in absentia), Washpo, NY Times, and Giuseppe.

At 4pm, we go "Inside the Headlines" with Newsvandal JP Sottile. Check out his latest salvo on the fine line between politicizing and journalism: How Ezra Klein Punked Chris Matthews, Political Media and the Entire Cable News Model. This week's categories: TV or not TV, suck suck goose economy, and a meditation on the wetness of water. For all headlines discussed with links, click Read more below.

 
1. As Seen On TV. Or Not.
Wesley Clark Goes From 4-Star General to Reality TV Punchline
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/08/wes-clark
 
Pentagon gets U.S. military ready for its movie close-ups
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2012/08/09/161253/pentagon-gets-us-military-ready.html
 
Lawyer Details How 9/11 Led To A War On Taking Pictures In Public
http://www.businessinsider.com/press-photographer-police-photos-public-2012-8
 
Hidden History: America’s Secret Drone War in Africa
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/08/somalia-drones/
 
54% Say Most School Textbooks More Concerned With Political Correctness Than Accuracy
http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/lifestyle/general_lifestyle/august_2012/54_say_most_school_textbooks_more_concerned_with_political_correctness_than_accuracy
 
The Truth of El Mozote: In '82, Paul Ryan adviser Elliot Abrams was covering up the El Mozote massacre of 800 peasants
http://www.markdanner.com/articles/show/the_truth_of_el_mozote
 
An American Artist in the Combat Zone
http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmakers/201207/victor-juhasz-afghanistan-combat-artist

2. The Economy Doesn't Suck, It Just Sucks For You
Executive Excess 2012: The CEO Hands in Uncle Sam's Pocket
http://www.ips-dc.org/reports/executive_excess_2012
 
Receipt of Unemployment Insurance by Higher-Income Unemployed Workers (“Millionaires”)
http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/misc/R42643.pdf
 
The Upper-Middle Class Has Itself to Blame for Student Debt
http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/08/the-upper-middle-class-has-itself-to-blame-for-student-debt/261010/
 
Risk Builds as Junk Bonds Boom
http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/08/15/risk-builds-as-junk-bonds-boom/
 
Homebuilder Stocks Surge With New Sales 50% Below Average
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-08-12/homebuilder-stocks-surge-with-new-sales-50-below-average.html
 
A Giant Hospital Chain Is Blazing a Profit Trail
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/15/business/hca-giant-hospital-chain-creates-a-windfall-for-private-equity.html

3. Water Slide
Demand For Water Outstrips Supply: Groundwater use is unsustainable in many of the world's major agricultural zones
http://www.nature.com/news/demand-for-water-outstrips-supply-1.11143
 
The Drought and the Biofuels Disaster
http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/08/15/the-drought-and-the-biofuels-disaster/
 
Oil companies desperately seek water amid Kansas drought
http://money.cnn.com/2012/08/10/news/economy/kansas-oil-boom-drought/index.html
 
Toxic Taps: Lead is still the problem
http://investigativereportingworkshop.org/investigations/toxic-taps/story/toxic-taps-lead-is-still-the-problem/
 
Can You Flush Your Old Drugs Down the Toilet?
http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2012/05/prescription-drug-disposal
 
Watch What You Eat: Endangered Sharks Show Up in Soup
http://www.earthisland.org/journal/index.php/elist/eListRead/watch_what_you_eat_endangered_sharks_show_up_in_soup/

THIS WEEK IN GOOD NEWS!
Letting Companies Settle While Denying Guilt Reconsidered by F.T.C.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/11/business/facebook-settlement-on-privacy-is-finalized-by-ftc.html
 
Study: Junk food laws may help curb kids' obesity
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_MED_SCHOOLS_JUNK_FOOD_LAWS?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-08-13-00-15-36
 
Majority of Israelis oppose strike on Iran
http://www.timesofisrael.com/majority-of-israelis-oppose-iran-strike-latest-poll/
 
Exxon Valdez Laid to Rest
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=exxon-valdez-laid-to-rest

ODDS & ENDS:
Chemical widely used in antibacterial hand soaps may impair muscle function
http://www.news.ucdavis.edu/search/news_detail.lasso?id=10301
 
Johnson & Johnson Sued for Misrepresenting “Health Benefits” of Splenda Essentials Sweetener
http://www.allgov.com/US_and_the_World/ViewNews/Johnson_Johnson_Sued_for_Misrepresenting_Health_Benefits_of_Splenda_Essentials_Sweetener_120814
 
Johnson & Johnson to Remove Formaldehyde From Products
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/16/business/johnson-johnson-to-remove-formaldehyde-from-products.html
 
The Orphans of Bhopal
http://www.counterpunch.org/2012/08/10/the-orphans-of-bhopal/
 
Are Reports of al-Qaida in Syria Exaggerated?
http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/syrian-rebels-dispute-reports-about-al-qaida-fighters-in-their-ranks-a-849983.html
 
Report: Navy SEALs to Hunt Cartel Kingpin Like Bin Laden
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/08/el-chapo/
 
A Kalashnikov Factory in Russia Survives on Sales to US Gun Owners
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/15/business/a-kalashnikov-factory-in-russia-survives-on-sales-to-us-gun-owners.html
 
Court Rules Facebook “Friending” Not Protected Speech Under First Amendment
http://jonathanturley.org/2012/08/15/court-rules-facebook-friending-not-protected-speech-under-first-amendment/
 
Many egg-donor recruiters ignore ethical standards
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/09/us-many-egg-donor-recruiters-ignore-ethi-idUSBRE87816K20120809
 
GOP again turns to Bill Kristol ball
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0812/79643.html
 
Scientist Accuses Obama's Interior Department of Misconduct
http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/08/interior-department-whistleblower-science
 
Few Voters Are Truly Up for Grabs, Research Suggests
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/17/us/politics/pursuing-the-elusive-swing-voter.html
 
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